Monday, September 29, 2008

The best Obama picture EVER

Rather than spout all political I will let this little picture speak for itself...

This must be the CHANGE he has been talking about. Now we are all going to place our hands over our crotch during the national anthem.


Now....GO VOTE!!!!!!!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

For those from

Edit: I did not explicitly state it in the post below, but I am in no way, shape or form making any kind of commentary on those who are Muslim. I am speaking only about those few who are extremists. Just wanted to be really, really clear.

I responded to a post on regarding Palin today. I fired off a quick response that was obviously a bit insensitive...

For those of you who have no idea what I am talking about - Dooce posted a video of a less-than-eloquent Palin in an interview. She basically sounded like she had no idea what she was talking about and was instead trying to say anything that came to mind that was maybe, possibly, potentially on topic. It was freshman debate at its ugliest. However, one bad interview does not an opinion make. Not for me anyway.

So, I responded and here is what I said:

I am not a fan of Palin per se, but I am definitely not a fan of a man who would write in his recent book:
"I will stand with the Muslims should the political winds shift in an ugly direction."
Now THAT scares the shit out of me. In my humble opinion, Palin is the lessor of two evils.
Stupid vs. Muslim supporter?? Hmmm....let me think on that one.
I'll take stupid any day of the week and twice on Sunday.

Yes...I know...insensitive. Sounds like a sweeping generalization that Muslim = bad. I get it. I was almost as ineloquent as Palin in that short clip. And, if you judge me based on that one short comment I am a racist and an idiot.

So, after reading the responses to my post and getting my just rewards I posted up a response to the responses. Since most people don't make it through almost 600 post comments, and many of you are coming to my blog to get a look at the moronic, uneducated, racist, backwards bitch...well, I am posting my response here, too.

I suppose my response to this post was a bit insensitive. I'll accept that. I grew up Christian and I have rejected that religious choice and have instead found a different path after much study. I am very well aware of the prevalence of the Muslim faith throughout the world.

I, like you appear to, believe strongly that most of the evil and horror in this world is done in the name of religion - all religions - not just one. Some of the most violent, ignorant, extreme, dangerous people I have had the displeasure of meeting have worn their crosses and flaunted their Bibles with great pride.

My fear of Obama being a vocal Muslim supporter in the world we currently live in has nothing at all to do with the majority of those who choose the Muslim faith. Instead it is a fear of the message his vocal support sends to the extremists. That message will be amplified and distorted as it reachs their ears. That is in no way the fault of those who are Muslim and NOT extremists. I just think Obama needs to tread a bit lightly on that topic.

I don't support Obama. That is my choice.

I don't support Obama stating publicly that he will "stand with the Muslims" when we are in a very dangerous world climate because of those Muslims who are extremist and who will see that statement as an invitation to use violence against America if Obama were to be elected into office. Again, my choice.

It DOES NOT, however, make me stupid, ignorant or an asshat. With that said, I apologize to you for not being more careful with my comment on a public forum. My intent was not to attack or belittle anyone who does not see the world like I do. I only wish you would have given me the same respect.

With that said...I shall go back to keeping my political opinions to myself. All that arguing and belitting and hating and shouting and shit isn't going to change a single damn mind. You know what telling me I am stupid does? I only makes me more confident that everyone should shut the fuck up and just go vote.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

White trash road trip

This past weekend's Portland road trip was exactly what I needed. It was just a great opportunity to relax and let the stress of the last week just roll off. Eric and I got up at 4 a.m. Saturday morning and set out. We had just over 6 hours in the car together. Fortunately, if I were going to be trapped in a car with someone I would pick Eric anytime. See, I like to share the torture like that. It's love.

The most exciting part of the trip was having actual conversation without interruption from our little peanut gallery. Drew likes to be involved in our discussions - whether he understands what we are talking about or not - and will frequently pipe up from the backseat with random commentary.

We'll be talking about...oh...let's say, something that happened at work...and Drew will suddenly shout, "I don't care about work! I like Transformers! Did you know that Megatron and Optimus Prime are brothers and they have a fight and Optimus and Sam have to get the All Spark away from Megatron and the other Decepticons and Bumblebee is a camaro but in the 80s he was a bug and Jazz is really cool too and my favorite is Optimus Prime and I have Optimus Prime pajamas and when I wear them with my Megatron underwear my butt fights with my pants and that is really funny and..."

This is the part where my head explodes like the Fembots in Austin Powers. Seriously? The kid talks non-stop and if he weren't so dang cute I might just gouge my own eardrums out just so I could experience the joy that I am certain comes with actual quiet.

Wait? Did I go off on tangent? Crap. What were we talking about? Is this how Drew got that random conversation gene? Oh yeah...Portland...

OK, so the trip to Portland was to celebrate Katie-Kat's birthday and we were having a "get white trashed" weekend. We went roller skating on Saturday afternoon and if you haven't been in a while? GO. Seriously. We had so much fun. I used to be da bomb on roller skates about 25 years ago. I would always win the speed races and I totally kicked butt at Shoot the Duck -- if you don't remember Shoot the Duck that was the one where you would skate around the rink as fast as you could and then the announcer would yell "Shoot the Duck" and you would squat down with one leg held straight out in front of you and roll. As you lost momentum you would fall over. Last person upright wins. I rocked. I could stay up forever by doing that bounce thing to keep a tiny bit of roll. Anyway, I was so NOT da bomb this weekend. Not only did I have trouble staying upright, but I have serious doubts about my ability to even get into duck shooting position. I might get down there, but I am pretty darn certain I would never get back up again. I suppose the upside is that since I couldn't get up again I wouldn't have to worry about falling.

The rink we went to was built in the early 1900s and it not only SMELLED like it was built in the 1900s, but the skates were purchased right about the same time. All the half walls around the skating floor were carpeted and the entire top of the walls and about 4 inches down on each side of the wall was a dramatically darker color and it was...ummm...let's say GREASY. That is the only word I can think of to describe it. I touched the top of that wall ONE TIME to keep from falling and I EVER. Not even on threat of death and/or dismemberment. Put me on the rack. Put me in the iron boot. Take away my Starbucks. But whatever you do DON'T MAKE ME TOUCH THAT WALL because if I have to touch that plague laden carpeted wall of death my skin is going to peel away from my muscles, walk about ten feet, turn around, flip me the bird and take the first flight to Tahiti.

After surviving our skating adventure we went to a really great little bar to see the 2009 Miss White Trash Pageant. IT. WAS. AWESOME. There were all these girls dressed up in trucker caps and bikini tops with cut off shorts and I saw a fair number of mullets sported by the guys. There was a lot of big hair, side ponytails and tube tops. It was truly, truly, fantastically horrifying. We didn't make Eric dress white trash, but all the girls did. There was a lot of hair spray, blue eyeshadow and white wife beaters with bra straps hanging out. Here are a few pics for your entertainment.
For the record, none of us condone the use of this amount of lipstick, blue eyeshadow, glitter or blush unless it is Halloween or you are entered into the witness protection program and sent to Alabama. shudder

After the pageant we moved the party to a gay bar down the street that does a really great drag show. Let me just tell you. The queens? They LOVE Eric. It doesn't matter what drag show in what town...Eric? Will get molested. It's truly fabulous. I would like to say that my love for him means I get properly indignant and that I keep him from getting too fondled and that I always try my very best to protect him from the Queens who stalk him, but typically I am laughing too hard to do much but point and wipe my tears while holding my gut and trying to not fall off my bar stool. Here is a great shot of one of the Queens stealing Eric's shirt. The best part? Notice she is reaching for his nipple. I'm not gonna lie. I laughed so hard I peed a little.

The next day, after recuperating from too much beer and Drag Queens we had breakfast and headed back for Boise. On the way we stopped at Multnomah Falls. Here are some pictures I took. Enjoy!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Random thoughts with a smooth ranty center

It has been a busy few weeks trying to get adjusted to Drew being in school. I am lucky enough to have the kind of job that doesn't require me to be at work at a certain time or leave at a certain time. That is a good thing on one hand, but the down side is that I tend to work all the time because work, via my laptop, is always with me. In fact, I am sitting here writing this blog on my work laptop and my work email is open and keeps harassing me. Let me ignore it a bit longer and post a pic of Drew on the first day of school.

Anyway, now that Drew is in school I have to get up and get him there on time. Every day. And they count him tardy if we are late. OK...they count ME tardy if we are late. Seriously? I don't want detention. It makes me whiney.

Getting Drew to school on time requires that I leave the house at a certain time each day. That requires getting up at a certain time each day. guessed it...requires going to bed at an hour much earlier than I would normally go to bed. This school thing is hard people. Oh, and did I mention I don't do so well with schedules? They make me itch. And break out in hives.

On top of all the itchy-hiveyness I have been having to listen to people talk politics. Listening to people talk about politics and/or religion makes me get all stabby. Which means, basically, that I am an itchy, hivey, stabby person and probably not the person you want to start talking politics with.

I fully intend to vote. Really. I do. No need to get all preachy and shit. So, can I just say this with the highest level of stabbiness control?

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Your voice is giving me shingles!

I can listen to the candidates debate. I can read the interviews. I can even watch the news. What I can absolutely, most definitely do? Form my own damn opinion, thanks. What can I absolutely, most definitely not do? Listen to a bunch of morons talk about how they hate/love Obama because he's black or hate/love Palin because she's a woman or hate/love McCain because he's a veteran or hate/love the Democrats or hate/love the Republicans. I am all for a good debate, but it would be much appreciated if people would keep their mouths shut until the have a clue what they are talking about.

I have made my decision on who to vote for and I'll keep it to myself thankyouverymuch and I am not going to be swayed by a loud-mouthed blowhard who thinks they have some kind of special knowledge of the inner workings of a campaign and each and every freakin' issue because they once walked past the room in elementary school where student council officers were elected.

**Deep breath**

On a bright and not quite so ranty note there IS fun on the horizon. On Friday Eric and I are going to Portland to visit Miss Katie for her birthday. It is going to be a rollerskating, trailer park pageanting, bar hopping, beer drinking good time. Because? Katie is a super rock star and it is virtually impossible for Katie and I not to laugh the entire time we are in each other's presence. We generally drive people nuts because we are laughing about random things and no one else can quiet figure out what is so funny. I chalk it up to our highly evolved sense of humor. Eric chalks it up to borderline insanity.

I'll post some pictures if I remember to take them. Generally speaking, there is WAY too much of the laughing, beer drinking parts to remember pictures. I'll give it a shot though. Right between the 2nd and 3rd pitchers. That is when the best pictures happen.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Balloons. Lots and lots of balloons.

I just got home from spending a week in Reno at The Great Reno Balloon Race. I am lucky enough to crew on a balloon called Fandancer and we went down to fly the balloon and have some fun. It was a hell of a week and I am unbelievably tired. We were up every morning at 4 in order to get out and get set up to fly.

Here's a picture from Dawn Patrol on Saturday:

After Dawn Patrol we would get Fandancer up and ready to fly. The nice part is that by then the sun would be up and we could actually see what we were doing! Here I am, all decked out in my sexiest outfit. I am standing on the tarp and the balloon is laid out ready to inflate:

After two years of crewing on Fandancer I finally got my first flight on Thursday. I had actually been a bit afraid to go up so I never really made a big fuss about not getting a ride. I mean...seriously? Several thousand feet up dangling from a balloon in a wicker basket attached with little steel cables? Not so much with the excitement on my part.

However, I have watched it fly dozens of times and I am responsible for working with the rest of the crew to rig the dang thing. If I am going to send a pilot and various passengers up in it then I suppose I can take a chance. See me with all the bravery and stuff?? Whee!

Since it was my first flight I was initiated after we landed. Basically, initiation consists of both drinking enormous amounts of champagne AND having it poured over your head. The pilot has you bend down to drink a cup of it without using your hands and when you are looking down they pour some of it over your head and then put a bunch of grass and stuff on you. week has consisted of up early, launch balloon, chase balloon, pack up balloon in whatever random location it landed, drive back to launch field, drink a ton of champagne and then go back to the hotel for a shower. That would get us to about noon. Then we would either nap or go downstairs to the casino and gamble. Then we would have some kind of pilot/crew party where we would all drink too much again. Then it would be bed by about 10 and up again at 4. Rinse. Repeat.

We also had to keep an eye out for the Energizer bunny balloon. He went on a terror spree. Here he is sneaking over a hill to pounce on an unsuspecting apartment complex...oh, and those three little dot looking spots between the bunny and the apartment? Those are cars. That should give you a prety good idea of just how big the bunny is.

Monday, September 1, 2008

An almost amusing post.

I have had a mini-mental breakdown the last couple of weeks and apologize for the lack of postings. I generally try to keep my posts upbeat, positive and, if I am really lucky, amusing. For about a week now the most amusing thing I can think of has been, "Isn't it funny that I woke up today and I still feel homicidal?" I wasn't sure you would appreciate that kind of humor. So I just hid out and polished my knife. And then loaded my gun.

I feel much better today. Good news is I didn't have to kill anyone. It was a pretty pleasant weekend. Today was spent with all the windows open enjoying a beautiful Fallish day. I cleaned my bedroom and bathroom to a state of cleanliness that hasn't been seen since about 5 minutes after we moved in. You know what I discovered? Homicidal tendencies, when properly channeled, CAN remove the ring around my toilet! Who knew?!

At the moment I am sitting in my friend M.'s guest room getting ready to go to bed. I may have mentioned at some point in the past that I crew on a hot air balloon. No? Ok...well...I crew on a hot air balloon. This next week is the Great Reno Balloon Race and we are flying. That means that tomorrow morning we are getting up at "Oh my freakin' bagel with cream cheese and a quad shot vanilla latte it's early" to drive to Reno. I get to spend the next week getting up at the crack of dawn (we are on the balloon field at 5 a.m. or earlier) to raise and launch the balloon. Then we pile into the truck to drive around trying to figure out where the pilot is going to land so that we can pack the balloon back into the trailer and go back to do it all again.

For all my time and energy spent working on this balloon crew I get paid the grand sum of NOT A DAMN CENT. And I freakin' love it. LOVE. IT. It is the most fun I have ever had working. It could be the post flight champagne tradition. 'Cause...well...its champagne. At 8 o'clock in the morning. That's just deviant enough to make me feel like a rebel without requiring a MOM tattoo on my right bicep or a mohawk.

Anyway, I will post updates and will be sure to put up pictures for you. Should be an exciting week! Oh yeah...just so you don't worry. I left the knife and gun at home.