Tuesday, June 19, 2007

License to parent and no boots in sight.

Since I don't really know what I want to talk about I guess I'll just sit here and write whatever pops into my head. At the moment I am at work for my second day back after a week vacation. It is really hard to concentrate and get stuff done. I am not even really sure what stuff I need to get done. My open positions are all currently stalemated. My Associates are all happily working away. My bosses are all MIA. I need to be doing sales. I need to be putting together an Operations Manual. I need to go and get lunch. I don't feel very good. I have some crazy "girl ailment" going on and I need to call the doctor. I am probably dying. The upside to that is I wouldn't have to pay back my student loans. The downside is that I wouldn't get to drink Starbucks vanilla lattes anymore.

I am supposed to be blogging about work. We are doing a whole new website and our CEO wants me to blog. Great – I don't know if I will be able to keep my sarcasm in check long enough to blog about work in such a way that I continue to have work. We'll see how it goes.

It was a great trip home to Texas. We spent the whole time hanging out with family. Of course, the whole trip revolved around food and I think I gained at least a small child. At the very least I undid 3 weeks of working out with 1 week of eating. We hit all my favorite places and some of them more than once. (Oh Chick-fil-a I do so love thee.) My friend Jenny asked me about my trip and actually used the words "promised land" and "chick-fil-a" in the same sentence. Cracked me up, but also summed up how I feel about those incredible chicken nuggets!!

My brother bought a couple of horses so when I wasn't gorging myself on chicken we were hanging out at the stables where they keep them. Drew had a great time riding Ollie. I actually didn't ride at all. I forgot to bring boots and it just seemed weird to try and ride in flip flops. I almost bought a pair of boots and then realized I couldn't fit them in my suitcase to get them home. That made me nostalgic because there was a time when I was spending someone else's money that I had several pairs of boots in all different colors (boots are freakin' expensive, ya'll!!). I do still own a cowboy hat, but what kind of self-respecting Texan doesn't own a pair of boots? Oh, wait…ME! First opportunity - I am buying boots. You won't catch me unprepared again.

Eric and I spent some time looking at real estate and trying to decide if we want to consider moving down there. I really miss my family a lot and would love to raise Drew near them. He had a blast with his cousins and, let's face it, my family is a lot closer than Eric's is. Plus, not to be morbid, but if Eric and I were to die Drew would go to my brother so it would be nice if Drew knew him better. Anyway, Eric was amazed that property is so cheap – it is likely a direct reflection on the humidity – and spent all week repeating, "How many acres? How much? Freakin' unbelievable."

We are looking at maybe buying 15 acres with my brother and putting two houses and a barn out there. They could stop paying to stable their horses, I could get another horse and they have four-wheelers and stuff. We even talked about putting in a pool. The catch is that we would have to sell our house here, figure out a way to move without spending any of the equity and find a free place to live until our new house was built. Yeah – I know. Leave it to me to make things complicated.

On another topic, I started the process of getting a business loan. I worked at a bridal shop many moons ago and the owner is like my grandmother (don't tell her I referred to her as a grandmother – she'd have my ass for that). She made me a killer offer to buy the store and if I can get the loan we will more seriously discuss options. Everything is riding on my credit right now and let's just say that banks aren't exactly lining up to write me a check. I'll keep everyone posted.

It is kind of weird to be home after spending a week at HOME. I have always missed my family and at a couple of points since meeting Eric have expressed a desire to move back there. It just always seemed unfair to move him against his will when I moved away of my own accord. I could have stayed there after I got divorced and I didn't. If I wanted to be there so bad then why move? Plus – Eric hates the humidity and would miss the mountains. He has lived in the NW his whole life and as soon as we landed in Dallas he started to sweat. I am not confident he would be happy in Texas. Texans are crazy, fanatical, "Texas is its own country" kind of folks. It is hot and humid and you certainly don't get to ski in the winter. Besides that people there say weird stuff like "fix'n to" and "used to could" and "might should" and "ya'll." I would be happy as a clam back in Texas, but I don't know that Eric would. Drew would probably be fine – after a week there he was already talking with a drawl. You should have seen Eric's face the first time Drew said "Dayud" instead of "Dad." It was PRICELESS!

It is so hard to think about moving anywhere. I used be the type that would pack up and move on a whim. I did it on more than one occasion and it always ended up being the right thing to do. Now that Drew is older it is a lot harder. He has his own little life here. He has friends and Eric's parents. They take him to the cabin and he loves that. He likes skiing and hockey. How do you make a decision that would completely alter your child's future? Do I really know what is best for my own kid? I think this is the first time I have ever really questioned my parenting abilities – well, except for that one time when I almost lost him at Fred Meyer, but I swear that wasn't my fault. If that crazy lady hadn't parked her cart in front of the dairy case I totally would have caught up with him before he rounded the next aisle.

Anyway, I am just starting wonder what crazy person gave me a license to parent. Shouldn't there have been a test or something? Also – at what point to you actually drug your spouse and relocate them to another state while they are passed out? Does the state prosecute for that?