Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Hernia? Gallbladder? Yeah - I can see how those get mixed up...

I am convinced that doctors are nothing but highly paid witch doctors that know a few big words. I also think I need to find a new one. My doctor confused a sick gallbladder with a hernia.
Hernia - Gallbladder

Hernia - Gallbladder

Those are close...right? One is a hole in the abdominal wall and the other is an actual organ commonly found in the human body. Yeah. Very close.

Regardless - the "hernia" is really my gallbladder and I have to have it removed next Thursday. That will be fun. Four incisions in my abdomen - I wonder if I could talk them into removing some fat along with the gallbladder. I mean...if one doctor can confuse it for a hernia then the surgeon is sure to be able to tell the insurance company that all the fat looked confusingly like my gallbladder and by the time they realized their mistake all my belly fat had already been removed.

That's realistic - right?! Anyway, I will let you know how it goes. I hope they don't accidentally confuse my gallbladder with something important and remove the wrong organ...

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Expired Warranty

Do you know how it is when you buy a new car and just after your warranty expires the whole thing falls apart? I think that is happening to my body...I really should have bought the extended warranty.

I hate going to the doctor and tend to put it off as long as possible. I save up all my health complaints and then go in with a list of questions and requests. I have been having this weird pain on my right side just under my ribcage and I ignored it since it started back in June. I have been working out with a trainer and even started a running program so, naturally, I began having problems with my knees. Any of you who know me know that I have really bad knees and I am not a stranger to knee surgery.

So, yesterday I visited my family doctor and left with a list of referrals. I had to go see the Gyno today - that is always a joyous, special occasion that luckily only happens once a year or so. I even managed to escape that one without my feet ever having touched a stirrup. Yea me!

On Monday I go to the surgeon because that odd little pain in my belly ended up being a hernia. A HERNIA PEOPLE. I am not entirely sure what I do that could cause a hernia, but I have one. If that doesn't make you feel old and decrepit nothing will.

On Tuesday I get to visit the orthopaedic specialist who, I am sure, will be thrilled to hack on my knees again. Ahhh - good times.

So, I know have 2, possibly 3, surgeries in my forseeable future. The upside is pain meds - the downside is everything else. To add insult to injury I am currently sitting in my recliner, watching cartoons with Drew and fighting a fever, nausea, pain in my side and a nasty case of sinus congestion. My warranty has definitely expired.

I should count myself lucky because there are far worse things I could be facing, but that doesn't bring a lot of comfort at the moment. I really just want a big dose of Advil, a warm bed, a good movie and a backrub. I need to be pampered because I feel really terrible and I am a big ole baby when I am sick. I am also starting to wonder if my hernia has exploded - or whatever hernias do - and I am now going to die. Say it with me now - PARANOID!!