Friday, April 25, 2008

Red Wine and Chick Flicks DO NOT Make You Cooler.

I have a serious red wine and chick flick addiction. Point proven by the 4 bottles of wine that have been polished off in the last few days and the facial tic that Eric has mysteriously developed. He also keeps waking up at night screaming something about John Hughes and Andrew McCarthy trying to kill him, but I can't quite sort it out.

I read an article last week about all the antioxidants in red wine and how that is supposed to be really great for your health. At the rate I have been consuming the stuff I might actually live forever.

The good news? It's all in my master plan to take over the world.

Step 1 - live forever
Step 2 -

Well, I am still working on step 2 and will have to update you at a later date. I am hoping it has something to do with eating lots of cheesecake or creme brulee.

Last post I talked about how Lexy has led me down the primrose path to the Fountain of "You Are Fucking Old." Well, guess what? I AM STILL OLD. And getting older. But, just informing me of my complete and utter lack of coolness wasn't enough. Oh, no. That is too easy for teenagers. Apparently they need a little challenge just to see if they can get us to voluntarily check into an assisted living facility. TODAY.

In my case, I was showing Lexy some pictures of me from my senior prom. She was amazed and blown away at how beautiful the dress was and my hair and my makeup and everything. Then comes this:

"You were so pretty! And skinny! I mean, seriously skinny! How did you get fat?"

And she was SERIOUS.

I closed the album, walked downstairs to the kitchen and opened a beer.

I am currently planning my revenge.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

OMG!!! I SAID..."how did you get bigger" why on earth would i call you fat!!!!! newyz..ya wit the rate of you 'force feeding' the wine down my throat i might have to join in on that little master plan of yours!!!

lol

love, lexy