Truth in Advertising

It is a well known fact among parents that "special alone time" is hard to come by. I don't know about everyone else's children, but my little progeny has this weird radar that notifies him each and every time Eric and I even THINK about getting up close and personal. He has successfully maintained his status as an only child. Even if we wanted another child it is virtually impossible to create one.



Last night Eric and I managed to put Drew to bed at a relatively normal hour and he immediately fell asleep. That alone is some kind of a miracle. We normally have multiple "tuck ins" because immediately upon lying in his bed Drew is hungry, thirsty and has to pee. Must be the down in his pillow.

Anyway, Drew fell asleep immediately (NO I did't spike his juice with Benadryl - how dare you suggest such a thing?!). We were alone! Whee! No little Drew feet in the small of my back! Double Whee!! The funny, and just a little bit sad, thing is that instead of taking carnal advantage of this alone time we ended up having a conversation. An actual conversation that was void of all the little interruptions that come with having an inquisitive 4-year old observer.

"Mom, why is Dad's computer game assinine?"
"Mom, what does assinine mean?"
"Mom, why are we going to rob Peter?"
"Mom, who is Paul and why do we have to pay him?"



Adult conversation is hard to come by in our house and you would think we would take advantage of these little moments. Instead you get conversations like the one we had last night:

"Honey, do you think I am so fat that it is gross? 'Cause I feel really gross."

"I never think you are gross sweetie. I think you are gorgeous."

"You have to say that because you're my husband."

"No. I get to tell you the truth because I am your husband and I don't think you are fat. I certainly don't think you are gross."

"It's just that I feel like I landed this really gorgeous guy and it just blows my mind because I'm fat."

"You. Are. Not. Fat."

"Well, I just don't understand why you to picked me. I mean, you're all hot and stuff and could get any girl you wanted. You are really gorgeous and well, I'm not. How did I get you to pick me?"

"You put out."

Ahhhh....True Love.