Apparently golf is a contact sport

Friday was a charity golf scramble that my company is a very large sponsor of. I played in it last year and, if you read my blogs, you know that it didn't go very well. This year I was more prepared and was really looking forward to it. Unfortunately it was cold and rainy...but, we can suffer a bit for charity. Right?!

Last year I wrote an entire blog about my golf game - or lack thereof. This year I had a much better game, but yours truly managed to dislocate my kneecap. I would love to tell you about some grand event where I drove for 250 yards and hit a hole in one. But alas, I was jogging to the golf cart.

Jogging. To. The. Golf. Cart.

Here is the aftermath of my dangerous mission to the 18th green:

Isn't it the most beautiful big, black leg brace you have ever seen?

Oh, yeah... and how do you like my new tattoo?

What you can't see about the brace is that this beautiful fashion accessory goes all the way up to mid-thigh and it is dressed up with lots and lots of velcro.

I keep getting stuck to the furniture.

It's glorious.

It is also locked so that I can't bend my knee. That is my favorite part. Since I can put weight on it - but can't bend it - I am walking around the house looking like a cast member from The Return of the Living Dead.

I did manage to play out the remaining holes and our team was only 1 over par so it wasn't a total bust. I guess it was a bad choice; however, because walking around on it just made it worse and now I actually have to go back to the orthopedic doc. Could this be knee surgery number 3 I sense looming on the horizon?

Good times. Good times.

I spent all day yesterday with good drugs and video games. I am officially in love with Guitar Hero. Eric is now using my lapse in judgement as proof that we must. Buy. X-Box. 360. Immediately.

I regularly make fun of Eric for playing video games and "gamers" in general are frequent receipients of my fun poking. When it comes to Guitar Hero I get lots and lots of material from the fact that they actually hold competitions. Since I consider making fun of "gamers" to be an actual sport it is a gold mine of material. The competitions are a strange combination of jaw-droppingly hysterical and really, really sad. I just can't get over the fact that if the Guitar Hero competitors put as much time into learning to play a real guitar as they do into learning to play a video game they could very possibly be in an actual band. But...moving on...

Today Drew and I are watching television and generally just hanging out. Since Drew has lost his video game "crack" fix he is acting out all of the light saber fights from the Star Wars movies. Also jaw-droppingly hysterical and really, really sad. And so you don't think I am evil for calling my son sad I want to point out that the hysterical part is Drew's unique rendition of each battle and the sad part is the fact that his Star Wars obsession was created by his Dad. He'll never admit it, but Eric could probably act out the light saber fights, too.

Here is a small sampling of Drew's light saber expertise:


He takes his Star Wars VERY seriously so back slowly away and no sudden movements.











Drew gives us his best "Magnum" face as he prepares to pull the light saber from his Armpit Holster.







Don't mess with the Jedi-extraordinaire.









I think Drew really appreciates the fact that in my gimpy state I make an easier target and because I am medicated I am less likely to argue with him when he stages Star Wars battle number 3 from Return of the Jedi where Luke Skywalker fights Darth Vader for control of the Death Star.

I have survived the knee injury and the round of golf...now I just have to survive the Drew. Wish me luck and bring on the narcotics!!