"What's the first rule of acquisition?" - Quark (more Star Trek!)

I am currently writing a series of posts on recruiter engagement. You can read it over here! I know this isn't typical fare for this blog, but I have combined my work and personal blogs so you are going to be getting a little bit of everything!

In the immortal words of Captain Picard, "Engage!"

There was a whole blog post here! Really! There was!!!

However...

Now the blog post is HERE so head on over and read it, would ya?!

No Sea Cucumbers were harmed in the making of this post

As most of you know, I am a recruiter in my professional (and those of you who know me can stop with the snickering right about now) life. It is my job to identify candidates for open positions with my clients. In the course of my job I get to talk to a lot of people. A. LOT. OF. PEOPLE. That is the primary reason I never answer my phone once the work day is over in case any of you were taking it personal. Anyway, because the new year is in full swing and companies are beginning to hire I thought I would share some job huntin' stuff with you.

You know that saying, Sometimes you serve no purpose in life except to act as a terrible warning to others. Well, welcome to my world...

So, in no particular order, here are some things your friendly, neighborhood recruiter would like to warn you about:

1. Snotty email responses: These are the height of irritation for me and most recruiters I know. If I email you about a job it is because you have really exciting skills. That is intended to be a compliment. I don't need you to email me back telling me how your resume and your cover letter and the awesome new tattoo on your ass all very specifically state that you are only willing to work in X location. You know what? Lots of people say that and then when you tell them about a really kick ass opportunity with amazing money involved they will suddenly and miraculously find a willingness to commute that extra half a mile. I'm just trying to make sure you know about awesome jobs that are in your chosen career field so there is really no need to be an ass about it. But, because you were an ass about it, I'm not going to call you in a month to tell you about a brand new high paying gig that is right across the street from you. So there.

2. Treating me like I'm stupid: You wouldn't think this one needed to be said, but alas, it does. You wouldn't believe how many people treat the recruiter like they are one step up from a Sea Cucumber on the intelligence scale. It isn't nice. And it certainly won't help your cause. At the end of the day that recruiter is standing between you and the company you are trying to get an interview with. The recruiter is paid to determine whether or not you are a pompous jackass and whether or not your work history demonstrates an ability to do the job. You might think you can go around the recruiter if you want, but I can guarantee you that the Sea Cucumber emailed her client to give them a little feedback just in case your resume crosses their desk. So...maybe you should cut Ms. Sea Cucumber a little slack, hmmm? (As an aside, I mean no offense to Sea Cucumbers in general. If any Sea Cucumbers are reading this blog while doing Sea Cucumbery things please don't send nasty emails. I truly love and respect all non-vertebrates and sea-dwelling creatures alike.) 

3. Not taking into consideration that companies are fickle creatures: If I had a nickel for every time a client changed their mind about what they were looking for I would have a private yacht. Unfortunately, the client will often make this change known in the middle of an interview. You walk through the door armed with the job description the recruiter gave you and the hiring manager decides to throw it all out the window and interview you for something completely different. Know what happens next? The interview goes really badly and you get mad at the recruiter for being an idiot and the hiring manager gets mad at the recruiter for being an idiot. When, in fact, the recruiter wasn't an idiot. Unless, of course, NOT calling the hiring manager every hour on the hour to clarify that they are still looking for the same thing they were looking for an hour ago makes the recruiter an idiot.

4. Not having a sense of humor: This is a biggie to me. As previously mentioned, I talk to a lot of people during the course of an average day and there is nothing worse than having to deal with one stick in the mud after another. I know that job hunting and interviewing is tough and I know that it is very important work, but it also isn't "for every second I don't act like I have a stick in my ass a kitten drowns" serious either. Lighten up! Recruiters, good ones anyway, generally want to get to know you as a person and find out what makes you happy in your career. That allows them to do a better job of presenting you with opportunities you will like. So, stop taking yourself so seriously and have a laugh or two. It's good for digestion. And wrinkles. And being less of an ass.

Alright, that's enough for today. I don't want to tell you everything all at once because then I won't have anything to blog about. So, if you are currently looking for work go forth and have a laugh while interviewing for a job you didn't know you applied for. Then send your recruiter a really nice email telling them how smart and pretty and sharply dressed they are.

Recruiters like that.

Dance. Or something.

This week has not been one of my most favoritest weeks ever. Partly because it went and snowed all week and -- while snow is really great and all -- I like snow much better when I can wave at it from a distance. Sort of like that one drunk friend that always embarrasses you at parties. Luckily, I didn't go anywhere all week so I didn't have to drive in it. Unluckily, the reason I didn't go anywhere this week is because I've been sick. I may have to leave today so I can go to the store and feed my newfound Ricola addiction. The directions tell you to have one every two hours. Clearly I don't follow directions well because I am piggy-backing these suckers and I'm still coughing until I think my spleen is going to end up on my desk. Other nasty side effects include pungent herbal breath and a bizarre urge to sing "reeee-co-laaaaa" in the style of a Bavarian sheep herder. It's probably good I haven't left the house.

And, because I am dying of the plague and have nothing else interesting to say...here is a little video for your viewing pleasure. Or horror. Either way. You're welcome.

2013

No matter how many years I spend on this planet I am still regularly amazed at the things that will drop out of the sky to completely derail our lives. Every time I think the job is right, the house is right, the whatever is right the Universe throws yet another fiery hoop in my path.

Towards the end of 2011 E and I packed up and moved to Elko, NV for my career. Yes, I know, the words "career" and "Elko" in the same sentence is fairly absurd. However, there are very large mining companies there and if you happen to be married to, best friends with, sleeping with or are related to someone who is high up in the food chain at one of those companies you can really go far. If, like me, none of the above apply you can uproot your entire family, move to a shitty tiny town in the middle of nowhere and work your ass off until someone with an over-inflated ego questionable ethics power decides employees must be laid off because the executives made poor business decisions and need to get the stock price back up. Then you can spend most of your severance moving back to where you started and begin the process of getting your life back to normal.

And, no, I am clearly not bitter.

Not at all.

Now, at the beginning of 2013, we are back in Boise with our friends and family and things are going well. I am working for a boutique recruiting firm based in Boulder, CO. I am having a blast and the best part is that on days like today, when we are having an epic snowstorm, I can stay cozied up in my house and not deal with motorists. Motorists who, despite living in a state where it snows every year, are incapable of maintaining even a modicum of intelligence once the flakes start coming down. Before I go off on yet another rant about winter driving in Idaho I will change the subject!

The year ahead is going to filled with so many things. Booman is going to turn 10 and that is such a huge milestone I can't even wrap my head around it. Denial is sort of my mothership in regards to that. He is excelling at swim team and we are working hard to keep him encouraged and improving. Lots to come in regards to his adventures! My best friend, CV, and I are running a 5k every month for the whole year and I am certain that from a fitness perspective this is going to be a big year for me. E and I have plans for two Vegas hockey tournament trips, archery competitions, a family vacation and a handful of other personal goals.

As for me and this blog, my goal is to honest-to-Goddess start blogging more. Probably a mix of personal and work related stuff because I have no intention of maintaining TWO blogs just to keep the two things separate. That's far too much work and I am just not that motivated.

So, I promise to do better, but because I'm already feeling lazy here are some of my favorite pictures from the last year...