Winter wonderland, my ass.

It snowed yesterday morning. I went to bed and all was right with the world. When I got up Monday morning I went downstairs, opened the blinds in the front room and was greeted by a wonderland of white.

Pretty, you say? Sure. Pretty. Also? Slippery.

My Monday morning commute took 2 hours. Two teeth-grinding, white knuckling, profanity screaming, headache making hours. A normal commute for me is half an hour and even though I normally scream profanities I don't normally grind my teeth.

I slipped. I slid. I skidded. And that was just backing out of the driveway.

I think the thing that drives me bat shit crazy is the fact that people Lose. Their. Minds. at the first sign of snow. IT'S IDAHO PEOPLE. IDAHO. IT SNOWS HERE. EVERY YEAR. ON MORE THAN ONE OCCASION. GET A GRIP.

All you have to do in order to navigate snow is drive slowly, don't make any sudden movements and don't slam on your brakes. Sort of like when you did the lights off drive-bys on your high school crush's house and all your girlfriends ducking behind the seats in fits of giggles.

Instead of slow and careful driving, I had an insane number of ass hats in giant SUVs blur past me on the freeway. Little tip: Four wheel drive? They slide. I know this because I have a four wheel drive and although I drive slightly faster than Miss Daisy I was still virtually skating. At one point I was surrounded by traffic and I started to slide. I managed to stop the slide, but I think I peed a little.

Part of the problem with drivers in Idaho is that most of them are from California. It is my snarky opinion that Californians living in Idaho have the trifecta of poor driving traits:

1. They have a strong sense of entitlement and the road? Well, it's theirs.
2. They drive GREAT. BIG. TRUCKS and drive thisclose to the car in front of them because the world? Yeah, that's theirs, too. Oh, and it starts at the end of thier noses.
3. They are impervious to inclement weather that might make their large vehicle an instrument of death. You know. They are from California so, like, DUH.

OK - so those are total over-generalizations and probably largely inaccurate, but the next time you drive for two hours across the frozen tundra with bright lights and a California license plate in your review mirror then we'll discuss my prejudice. Until then? Shut it.

Luckily, the snow melted because I lost my voice on the way in from yelling "Ass hat" at the crazies.