My smashiness was last night at our New Year's party. What are my plans for the real New Year's Eve, you ask? Simple. Watch Dick Clark. Figure out where they put the batteries. The man is a robot. I swear it.
Anyway, we had about 25 couples here and it was loud and rowdy and you can't. Even. Imagine. the sheer volume of alcohol bottles we put out in our garbage can today. If we weren't so hung over we might take them to the recycle place and pay our way to Tahiti. But alas - we just ain't that motivated.
So, without further ado here are things I actually said/did last night:
1. Honey, would you please tape the refrigerator shut 'cause if anyone drinks my RockStar I'll kick 'em in the balls. I'm not even kidding.
2. Whaddup bitches! (drunken shout to room full of friends) Who's my booze fetcher for the night?
3. Who's drink is this? (shouted over full volume death metal) Anyone? (takes sip) Gak! This is disgusting. Who made this? Who was drinking this crap? This sucks. (pours gross drink into my half empty cup) Anyone? Going once!(shrugs) Going twice!(takes drink)(shudders) No takers? Well, it's mine now suckas! (throw gang sign)(turn to leave room)(run into wall)
4. What happened to the door? Why won't the door open? Who broke my door you MoFos. (screamed over frantic pounding by party-goers trapped in garage by broken door)
5. Seriously people. What. Were. You. Doing. To. BREAK. A. DOOR KNOB? In the laundry room no less. Heathens.
Yeah. It was a great party. I ain't gonna lie.
Oh, and here are a couple of pics of me and Eric before the party started and my makeup left the building.
Yeah - Eric's hot. It's ok. You can say it. I know.
Yeah - Eric's still hot. It's ok. You can say it. I know. I was seriously born under a lucky star.
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