Blogger's Block

I don't know what it is about the last couple of months, but I have been completely unable to post on a regular basis. I start a post and about halfway through I realize that the topic is completely assinine and I am boring myself to sleep...so, why in the world would anyone else want to read it? Then I delete it and close my laptop and go play with Drew and the Mazie dog.

I suppose that is good for Drew and Mazie. Not so good for the blog. So...today I am going to just make a little list of random things that have irritated me in the last few days.

Enjoy.

1. Went to Sonic the other day. Ordered a bacon cheeseburger with meat and cheese only. They asked me if I wanted the bacon. Um. Yeah. That would be the reason I ordered a BACON cheeseburger and not a cheeseburger. Oh. And bacon? It's a meat. I know. Shocking! Bacon? A MEAT? Who'da thunk it? Since it comes from an animal and all.

2. Pet psychics. There is a local station that has a pet psychic take calls one morning a week. That alone is freakin' hysterical, but you know what's even funnier than that? PEOPLE CALL. Lots of people. It's awesome. It is one of those train wrecky things that you can't help but watch. You know? So people call and ask questions like, "I just want to know if my dog, Spot, is happy with us because we just adopted him from the pound." And the psychic is all, "Oh yes! Spot is very happy living with you. He likes your house a lot better than he liked the pound." AND PEOPLE EAT THIS CRAP UP! I think I am going to call in one day and ask about some imaginary dog I adopted named Cornholio that keeps barking and I want to know if he is happy. Then when the lady is all done with her psychic message I can tell her that there is no such dog. That would be awesome. Because I am mean...but in a carefree and funny kind of way.

3. People who put their picture on their resume. I look at literally thousands of resumes in an average week and the very last thing I want to see? Your smiling mug. Why? Well...if you really want to know...it is because, as I mentioned earlier, I am mean and instead of looking at your skills and qualifications I am most likely going to be making fun of your hair, your teeth, your shirt, your smile, your glasses, your whatever. Oh, and seriously? Your picture? On your resume? WHY? In the name of all that is dorky...WHY?

4. Gummy bears. But that is only because I ate one a minute ago and now it just. won't. go. down.

5. Bill collectors. But that goes without sayin'.

OK. I guess that'll do for now, but for my next post? "Things I never imagined I would ever say out loud until I became a parent." Example: "Drew. You DO NOT lock the dog in the BBQ grill. Do you understand me?"