And you call THAT a secret??

If you read the news or watch Oprah you have probably heard of the new book, "The Secret." Some woman from Australia wrote a book about how to improve your life and bring good things to your own personal world. She proposes that you simply meditate and visualize good things and focus on images of what you want to be/have and those things will come to you. As an example, if you are overweight and want to be thin then you should visualize being thin, but also avoid looking at or thinking about anyone who is fat.

HUH?

Does that also mean that I should avoid eating a hamburger since that makes me think of cows and thinking of cows makes me think of fat? If we follow that logic then I should eat lots and lots of chocolate because that makes me think of Valentines Day which makes me think of sex and that means I get lots of sex.

I suppose I better warn Eric…and buy bigger pants. Unless – I eat lots of chocolate AND avoid looking at fat people. Sheesh. I am starting to confuse myself so I better stop before I visualize myself into special education.

In all actuality, what this author is proposing isn't exactly groundbreaking. Scientists have been able to prove that if you visualize a time on the clock then your body will wake you up at that time without an alarm clock. As an eternally sleep deprived person it doesn't work for me, however. My mind is completely unable to visualize anything earlier than 10 am so I am chronically late even with an alarm clock. If I start to visualize a daily wake up time, rather than set an alarm, I better consider a career change into something along the lines of "professional pillow stress tester."

I think my issue with this particular book is that it is yet another person proposing yet another way for the teeming masses to better their lives. It is as if we are surely all sitting around just waiting for intervention since our lives must be a constant barrage of horror.

I have a secret for you and I won't even charge you for it. It's simple actually…

STOP READING SELF-HELP BOOKS AND LEARN TO LIKE YOURSELF.

How is it that we can accept those we love with no questions asked? We look past the warts and quirks and idiosyncrasies and we love blindly. However, we heap abuse upon ourselves in regular doses.

My husband, bless his heart, tells me every day that I am beautiful and sexy. I, on the other hand, tell myself every day that my ass is deserving of its own zip code and my boobs are lop-sided. All I have managed to do is create a deep-seated desire to back out of all crowded rooms and a pledge to never purchase spandex pants.

We just need to be nicer to ourselves and the rest will follow. Good things will come to us because we will be open to them instead of closing ourselves off to the wonderful things we all deserve to have.

So…here's "the secret" for absolutely free. I might even throw in some steak knives if you call in the next 10 minutes….

BE YOU. LOVE YOU. LIVE YOUR LIFE.

Happiness will follow.