Never fly with PMS

I'm here. I have something to say. I'm sure of it. I just have no idea precisely what it is I am here to say. Let's ramble...

I cut my hair off last week. To just below my chin. I left the salon feeling really, really great about my hair and how cute and sassy it looked. I felt younger. And thinner. And then I showed off my awesome new haircut to my husband. Who said, "I like your hair long."

Wind. Sails. Pffftttt.....

My hair is no longer a valid topic of conversation at our house. Ever. In fact, I am thisclose to paying homage to Batshit Crazy Britney and shaving my head. Then I suppose I'll have to get a rapper wannabe baby daddy and a really good umbrella. It might be more work than it is worth.

Bah. I suppose I'll keep the hair I have left.

Summer is supposedly coming soon, but you couldn't tell by all the snow we've been getting. The next person to utter the words "Global Warming" is going to find themselves abruptly seated on their ass via the back of my hand across their cheek. I mean it, too. I have PMS this week and that means I am legally absolved of any and all responsibility for both verbal and physical attacks on stupid, insufferable people.

What else...hmmmm...what to talk about...AHA! Airlines! We'll talk about airlines! Let's specifically talk about Alaska Airlines and their fees for bags. Granted, I am sure they are not alone in their attempts to alienate all airline travelers everywhere, but they are the airline I am forced to fly most often so I shall pick on them. I'm mean like that.

They are charging $15 to check a bag. Not your second bag or your third bag, but the first and only bag you wish to check. Here's how they get you - I am convinced it is totally sexist, but can't prove it yet - they force you to fit all of your toiletries into a quart sized ziploc bag and if you can't manage this logistical feat of sorcery you have to either throw said toiletries away or check the bag. THEN...since they know us women aren't about to throw away a half-empty tube of our favorite face cream that cost a bloody fortune...they charge you $15 for the bag. WHO TRAVELS WITHOUT TOILETRIES? Seriously? WHO? Well, actually, I think I may have sat next to that guy once or twice, but that is beside the point.

I have an idea for all the airline thieves who come up with these ridiculous charges - how about you start charging for the seatbelt? How about it? It's required that we wear them so why don't you just go ahead and start charging us a fee for seatbelt usage and for maximum impact go ahead and charge by the minute. Alrighty?

Freakin' bastards. I'm just sayin'.

However, I must say, Airline People, those little cookie thingies you serve are divine. I had two packages. Not cause I wanted them, but because I wanted you to have to give them to me Mr. Smiling Flight Attendant... a flight attendant who is clearly a robot given the fact you never, ever stop smiling...it was kind of creepy now that I think about it...what WERE you smiling about anyway?

I suppose I don't really want to know. I would, however, like some more of those cookies...