Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Despite my best efforts the holidays are coming.

The season of insanity has begun. This is usually the beginning of my string of posts that consist primarily of me lamenting the fact that Christmas comes every. single. year. And no matter how hard to try to find ways to put a stop to it the stupid holiday just keeps coming. It's like Night of the Living Elves.

This year is going to be different. Oh, don't get me wrong. I still loathe Christmas for a variety of reasons and I am still sitting back waiting for someone to die, something to explode or for me to come down with the plague, but I am going to try not to be as much of a grinch as usual.

Case in point? The snowmen are out. I know! It's startling in it's non-Grinch-likeness. See, Eric and I have an enormous collection of Christmas snowmen that take over our house during the month of December. Most years I try to fight their escape from their sturdy boxes. I set booby-traps. I add extra tape to the box tops. I try to convince Eric they have packed and moved back to the North Pole. Eric will usually resort to setting them out one at a time. I'll get up one morning and there will be a snowman on the mantle. The next day it has a girlfriend. The day after that there are little snowmen babies scattered throughout the house. They are like creepy little stalkers that follow my every move with their beady little eyes. Anyway...this year I got the snowmen out. ME. Without prompting or threat of death. However, I draw the line at setting up the Christmas tree. Not a chance that thing is getting put up until at least the 10th of December and even that will take lots of encouragement. And possibly begging.

I am also trying to put a clamp on all the grumbling and yelling about Christmas lights. I think Eric has had enough of the sudden shrieking. I see a house all lit up and I am compelled to roll down my window and scream insults. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE Christmas lights...on CHRISTMAS EVE. I even like them on Christmas Day. But on the day after Halloween? NOT SO MUCH. There are always those few houses that have their Christmas decorations out the day after Halloween. First? Quit being so freakin' industrious. It's unsettling. Second? November 1st? NOT CHRISTMAS. Not even CLOSE to Christmas. Seriously, people. Can't you wait until, oh...I don't know...December? I'm just sayin'.

Oh yeah...I am supposed to be complaining less.

Ahem...

Cut me a bit o'slack here folks. I have to de-Grinch in stages. This year I got out the snowmen. Next year? Christmas music.

Well, maybe not music. Maybe a Christmas SONG. Yeah. A song.

Or a verse. Definitely a verse.

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