I should start researching independent living facilities. Immediately.

I have been trying to post - I swear I have! I just haven't been able to think of anything interesting to say. I know I have been busy (excuses, excuses), but I can't seem to remember what the heck I have been busy doing.

Oh! I know! I have been busy figuring out that I am old. How, you ask? Well, let me count the many ways:

1. A bunch of us went to a hockey game Friday night. We had seats that were right behind the home net and directly above the ramp where the zamboni drives in. It just so happens that a cameraman stands down there and films the game and the crowd. I was on the jumbo screen doing the chicken dance. Yes, you heard me, THE CHICKEN DANCE. And you know what? I wasn't even embarrassed. I laughed and waved because me? I. Am. Old. and I no longer care if the "pretty people" think I am cool or not. I already know I'm not. Because? I'm old. That's why.

2. Eric and I went, at the last minute, to a small party on Saturday night. We were all talking and laughing and having a great time. I wasn't really paying attention to how much I was drinking. Eric wasn't really paying attention to how much I was drinking. I didn't think it was all that bad until I woke up on Sunday. You know? Old people? They get hangovers. Really bad ones where the sun cranks up the bright factor and everything is at a volume intended for the neighbors to hear...you know, the neighbors IN CHINA.

3. Monday we enjoyed the holiday by going ice skating. I am not a very good skater and Drew and Eric skated circles around me giggling while I held on to the edge and tried to skate. Slowly. With wobbling. And some screaming. There were these three teenage boys that were proudly wearing their hockey gloves so as to show everyone in the rink that they are Hockey Players and are, of course (DUH), far cooler than anyone else in the rink and we should all just freakin' respect their ice since they are all, like, letting us losers use it and all. Sheesh. They were zipping around and doing that quick stop thing and on many occassions knocked down unsuspecting victims. I took it upon myself to tell them to "cut it out before someone gets hurt" and I SHOOK.MY.FINGER. Seriously? Finger-shaking? Eek.

4. The ice skating? Threw my back out. Eric says it's because I was so tense and was using muscles I don't normally use. I hobbled around all night hunched over. I groaned a lot. And whined. And complained. Then I went to bed with a heat wrap around my waist. To add insult to injury - the heat wrap was too tight and it cut off circulation to my legs. Thank you Mr. Heat Wrap for reminding me that I need to eat less and exercise more. I'll get right on that. Just as soon as I can stand upright.

I suppose I am being a bit melodramatic, but I swear everyday I am one step closer to standing on my porch, shaking my fist and yelling at the little kids in the neighborhood to get off my lawn.